Conviction
by ness2
Summary: Ryder loses his mind and gains a girlfriend. And annoys Ham considerably.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Conviction  
Author: ness  
Disclaimer: this is illegal. I'm bad.  
Notes: follows on from Matchmaking - in my head

edited over to fix Greg Ryder into Ryder Forrest blush

* * *

The road through Rawley woods was deserted. If it weren't for the road's existance, you would think humans had never set foot there. Bird song was the only noise, until a rustling started from the undergrowth. Two golden retrievers emerged and trotted across the tarmac to nose at an interestingly smelly bag someone had thrown out of a car.  
  
At the sound of a distant engine, accompanied by a pounding stereo, the younger dog ran off, but the other, grey muzzled, awkward moving, might not have heard. At any rate, it was still in the middle of the road when, a very few seconds later, a sports car came twisting round the bend. Loud, fast, out of control, the car hit the dog hard.  
  
"Shit" said Ryder.

* * *

Bella glanced over Jake's shoulder. "Where's Hamilton?" She'd been expecting both of them.  
  
"He stood us up. Something with Grant from his math class."  
  
Bella put away the third face mask while Jake tucked her hair away. Ham had promised he'd help paint the truck too.  
  
Jake lifted her mask plaintively. "Do I have to wear this?"  
  
"Fumes."  
  
"They do odourless paint now."  
  
-_ yes. It's expensive _- "I thought you two were joined at the hip" Bella said aloud.  
  
"So did Grant from Ham's math class."  
  
A show of independence, then. Jake's eyes weren't giving much away. Bella was righteously indignant.  
  
Jake tried to explain. "Ham's susceptible to peer pressure. It's 'cause he needs to be one of the guys."  
  
"Don't make excuses for him" Bella snapped. First Scout stood her up this afternoon, and now Ham. At least Scout had given a good reason; he'd had to get tutoring from Will, and Will could only fit the time in today. She and Scout had just started going out together. She'd **wanted** to spend the afternoon with him.  
  
"I'm not" Jake excused Ham. "He's into people. He needs contacts, he needs approval. More than I do, I think."

* * *

Ryder was out of his car, moving up to the dog. It was lying in an odd position. The animal rolled its lip back to reveal more teeth than Ryder would ever have expected to fit in that mouth. He stopped and eyed it from a safe distance. The snarl it was making increased in volume.  
  
He wasn't a dog person.  
  
He hesitated and glanced back. He wasn't sure where a vet lived, or whether the dog could be helped. If there was nothing he could do .. He took a step back to the car.

* * *

Jake roped in Grace to help with the paint job. - _she would be whining continually if she didn't have residual hopes of Jake asking her out _- Bella thought. They were interrupted by a rubber burning turn onto the garage fore court.  
  
"Good car, bad driver" Bella commented lightly. "Who is it?" The driver was shouting at them.  
  
"Ryder!" Grace pulled her hair loose, her eyes shining.  
  
"Who?" Bella vaguely remembered the name.  
  
"Top of the Rawley food chain."  
  
"He would be so incredibly flattered you said that" Jake threw over her shoulder to Grace, turning back to the truck.  
  
"I Said" Ryder repeated, dangerously angry "where's. the. sodding. vet?"  
  
"You've been hurt, man?" Jake yelled without noticeable anxiety.  
  
Grace had gone to the side of Ryder's car. "You're bleeding" she exclaimed.  
  
"It bit me" he said tightly.  
  
Jake and Bella came over. "That's Hamilton's dog" said Jake.  
  
Bella jerked the car door open. "Get out and have Grace see to that cut. Jake and I will get Timmy to Mr Jurgen."  
  
Ryder didn't get out right away. "Can you drive?"  
  
"Better than you can," Bella snapped.  
  
Ryder watched the car go, Jake in the back, bent over the dog. What was Pratt doing here anyway?  
  
"Come on" Grace urged. "We need to clean out that bite."  
  
Ryder thought about the smell of dog breath, and meekly followed her to the first aid kit. "Ugh" he said.  
  
Grace tended him adoringly. She thought his accent was the most exotic thing ever.

* * *

Even Bella, once he'd gone, while they were organizing returning his car to him, admitted he was good looking. Admittedly, Bella's teeth were gritted when she spoke, but, Grace thought, Bella had issues with being nice to guys. "So, I'll bring his car over to Rawley?" Grace confirmed. She tried to make it sound like a sacrifice. Maybe she could do this in lieu of something boring round the house.  
  
"Yeah, okay." Bella said vaguely. She was in no hurry to meet Ryder, and was more interested in cooking supper. The vegetables had gone in too late again. "Grace, can you run over to the store and pick up the makings of a salad?"  
  
"I can't." Grace was irritable. "I won't have time to do that **and** the errand to Rawley." The door banged behind her.

* * *

Bella didn't see Ryder for another couple of days.  
  
She slid into the Friendly's booth just as Scout concluded a pitch to Will to get Will to loan him a Tale of Two Cities. It was a long and elaborate pitch. Will's reply was brief.  
  
"I used the library copy."  
  
"But-" Scout realised he had that shuttered look, which usually meant it was a money thing. "- I could ask Hamilton or Jake, I suppose."  
  
"Not just now" suggested Bella.  
  
"Do you know what's up with Hamilton?" Will asked her.  
  
"His dog got hurt in a car accident" she said.  
  
"Yeah, but he has how many dogs-"  
  
"Five" said Will. "There must be a story behind that."  
  
Scout smiled; that was such a Will remark.  
  
"Jake says it was in lieu of siblings. I'd trade Grace for five dogs any day of the week ..I'm joking" she added defensively.  
  
"I used to ask my parents for a little brother" said Will. "But then it stopped being cute for them-"  
  
"-so your dad beat you till you bled" a familiar voice finished for him. Ryder had just swaggered over to them. "There's a fatal sameness to the punch line of all your memories William. You can't buy a childhood like that, but, the good news is, you can **sell** it. Go back to Angela's Ashes or that Pelzer guy. If you're going to make a career of this.."  
  
"Why are you bothering us Ryder?" Scout wanted to know.  
  
Ryder assumed an innocent expression. "I'm being a little gentleman. Thanking townie tart, here, for patching me up."  
  
"That was my sister." Bella didn't look at him.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
The boys watched Ryder wander off. "What was that about?" they wanted to know.  
  
"Ryder got hurt in the accident with the dog. He was driving."  
  
"Wait - Ryder did that?" Will said.  
  
"One more reason for Hamilton to hate him" Scout said.  
  
Bella looked confused.  
  
"What do you know about Ryder?" Will asked.  
  
"He's a Spike wannabe?"  
  
Scout cackled.  
  
"He's really verbally abusive" Will said. "He says things ..well, anyhow, Ham is one of his favourite targets."  
  
"Because of the gay rumours?"  
  
"I told Ryder they weren't gay" Scout said unexpectedly.  
  
"What'd he say?"  
  
Scout assumed Ryder's accent. "You're not asking me to suspend my disbelief. You're asking me to garotte it."

* * *

"-in hospital with three smashed ribs this morning" Marcus was telling Jake as Hamilton came up to them.  
  
Hamilton sighed. He knew exactly what they were talking about. Ryder had been beaten up pretty badly last night. The dean had been out of the house before Hamilton's breakfast, finding out about it. Hamilton wanted to talk about something else. All round the school people were giving him weird looks today and it was starting to freak him out. Maybe Marcus or Jake could tell him what was going on. Neither had seen him; Marcus' voice had dropped and Jake was intent on whatever he was saying.  
  
Jake fell back a step. "No way." She was denying something strongly. - _pissed off_ - Hamilton thought, detached.  
  
Marcus shrugged. "He punched Ryder before, that time. A lot of guys saw it."  
  
Hamilton got interested. Were they working out who hurt Ryder? He thought about it. _Didn't Will hit Ryder one time? But Will wouldn't go to the broken ribs stage; Jake must be defending him.  
_  
"Hamilton doesn't have that kind of mean streak."  
  
Huh? What?  
  
"Look. A lot of the guys are saying, is all. You know how Ryder hassles Fleming, and with that thing with his dog, as well as, you know-" Marcus trailed off.  
  
"The gay rumours?" Jake asked coldly.  
  
"I don't know about that" Marcus lied, backing down.  
  
Jake groped through her annoyance to find a rational argument. "If it's motivation you're talking about, half the **school** has reason -"  
  
"Why not pin this on Harry Johnson?" suggested Hamilton. Johnson would be as random a suspect as him.  
  
Marcus and Jake swung round. Marcus was looking flustered. "Hey" said Jake.  
  
"Hey" said Hamilton briefly. He was looking at Marcus though. "Is the whole school in on this theory?"  
  
"Not the whole - uh - mostly."  
  
Well, that explained the weird looks. Ham glowered. Marcus left fast, unnerved.  
  
"How can they see me as that?" Hamilton was furious.  
  
Jake studied her boyfriend. "Yeah you look just like Gandhi right now. I never saw it before."  
  
Hamilton stopped, stricken. "You don't believe this?"  
  
Jake glanced round, and risked a quick kiss. "Don't be crazy. I know you." She grinned slyly. "Passive aggression all the way, baby."  
  
Hamilton still looked upset. "This is not how I thought school was going to be" he complained. He had had such high hopes, all those years when he was too little to tag along with the Rawley boys. He had planned to be popular, to have loads of friends, to blend in - "Where did it all go wrong?"  
  
"Blame Ryder" said Jake promptly.  
  
"Oh, I do." They had started heading to the dorms, but Hamilton halted suddenly. "Wait, why?"  
  
"Ryder told your dad you did it." Seeing his face, Jake added hastily "This is just Marcus talking. You know how inaccurate the gossip here is." She looked at him anxiously. "Don't do anything crazy."  
  
"I'm going to go and see Ryder."  
  
"Well, I'm coming with you." She thought she'd better.  
  
"And my dad believed him?" Hamilton was outraged.  
  
"I don't know! What did your dad say?"  
  
"Yeah, like I've seen dad today" he snapped.  
  
A man's voice interrupted before he got into the full rant - "Hamilton."  
  
"It's your dad. I'd better go - unless you want..?"  
  
"No, go. Your dorm in ten, okay?"  
  
"Hamilton." His father came up to him. "A very serious accusation has been made."  
  
Hamilton clenched his jaw. "I heard."  
  
"Ah." Steven Fleming cocked his head. "Now, I realise you would prefer me to reject this out of hand-"  
  
Hamilton realised he was grinding his teeth.  
  
"-but for two reasons I cannot. Firstly, it would be unfair to submit my son to a lower standard of proof than any other student -"  
  
He paused, but if he was waiting for Hamilton to express enthusiasm for his principles, he was disappointed.  
  
"- and secondly, there are stories I have heard about you and Mr Pratt."  
  
"What?" Hamilton yelped.  
  
The Dean was in full more in sorrow than in anger mode. "Arguments have been seen taking place between you two and Mr Forrest." He waited.  
  
"He's a creep."  
  
Steven sighed. "Two boys, ganging up to taunt and bully one - rather isolated - boy; does this seem decent to you?"  
  
Hamilton choked in disbelief. "He bullies us." God, that sounded lame.  
  
His father dismissed it out of hand. "Ryder Forrest is a long way from his home and family. We should give him a better impression of our country. Have you noticed his lack of friends?"  
  
"But that's 'cause he's a jerk" Hamilton protested.  
  
Irritated, Steven said "Have you and Pratt been harrassing him?" At the hospital, Finn had asked the groggy boy if Jake and Hamilton had done this, and Forrest had said yes, slurred, but Steven didn't think he was in a condition to be questioned. On the way back to Rawley, Finn had evaded Steven's questions too. Essentially, Finn had told him to ask Hamilton.  
  
"No." Hamilton was exasperated.. "It's the rumours-" He tailed off regretting what he'd just said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"About Jake and me." Hamilton took a deep breath.  
  
Steven stood very still.  
  
"We're, uh, we're together." Hamilton looked anywhere but at Steven. "Ryder has a problem with us."  
  
After a full minute, Steven said, very quietly, "oh."  
  
"What do you mean, "oh"?" Hamilton rounded on him, misreading Steven's stunned silence as detachment. "I'm your son, don't you-" Steven's apparant calm infuriated him. "Grandchildren!" he exclaimed. He knew it would be his mom's first thought. He wanted to goad some kind of reaction from his dad.  
  
Steven managed a wintry smile. "You're not the startoff point of a dynasty Hamilton."  
  
"You're okay with this?" Hamilton wasn't quite sure what was going on here.  
  
Steven eyed his son. "I think we need to have a talk."  
  
Hamilton should have been careful what he wished for. He didn't reach Jake's room in ten minutes.

* * *

Hamilton jogged to Jake's room, not caring now about the people he passed. He hammered on the door without effect. Damn. He'd told Jake he'd meet her there, in (he checked his watch) an hour ago. He leaned on the door, breathing deeply, until he noticed voices down the hall.  
Was that Jake?  
  
He swept into the room where Jake was and grabbed her. "Hamilton?" she asked before putting her arms around him to return the hug.  
  
"This is bad. This is so bad."  
  
"Ham, what's up?"  
  
"Dad knows about you-"  
  
Jake's knees buckled.  
  
"No! Not about you, about us."  
  
"What do you mean?" her voice sharp.  
  
"I told-" He ran his tongue over his lips. "It just slipped out."  
  
Jake frowned as if she couldn't understand how something could just slip out. Actually, maybe she couldn't.  
  
"And they won't let me near Ryder" he added indignantly, expertly moving the topic along.  
  
"No kidding." That was Will. Hamilton loosened his grip on Jake enough to look round the room. There were Scout and Will. What were they doing here?  
  
"Hey" said Scout.  
  
This was Scout and Will's dorm room. Oh, right. "You heard about the Ryder thing?" he wanted to know.  
  
"Oh yeah" said Scout. "Did you do it?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"That's what Jake said" Will agreed.  
  
"What exactly does your Dad know?" Jake cut in.  
  
"He knows we're dating. He wants you over for Sunday lunch."  
  
"Oh god." She went pale.  
  
Scout snickered.  
  
"So, like, your dad thinks you're gay?" Will asked, all serious and trying to cross the Ts and dot the Is.  
  
Depressed, Ham dropped onto Scout's bed, pulling Jake down next to him. "Tell me this is worth it" he said to her.  
  
She stared at him. "I don't know. Is it?"  
  
"Yeah." He sighed. "I got The Talk."  
  
"The talk?" Jake asked.  
  
Hamilton waved one hand. "The Talk. He's getting Uncle Eddie to visit to give me **support**." He had been embarrassed and guilty. It was turning out a hell of a day.  
  
"Uncle Eddie?" Will asked. Scout was laughing pretty hard now, and Jake was tugging at her fringe, lost in a horrified vision, possibly of Sunday lunch.  
  
"College friend of Dad's. He stayed last Christmas." Hamilton spoke with a strong air of but-thats-not-the-point. "Jake? Hey, Jake?"  
  
"This is so bad" she whispered.  
  
"We can deal.." He turned back to Will "What do you mean, what about Ryder?"  
  
"Your dad doesn't think you did it" Jake interrupted.  
  
"Dad's investigating. He doesn't think it's fair to take my word for it."  
  
Will raised his eyebrows at Hamilton's bitter tone.  
  
"You shouldn't have told your dad about Jake" Scout said. Now the Dean knew about Ryder baiting Ham and Ham hating Ryder, it just made them fighting more plausible. Scout tried to put this to them.  
  
"Thank you, Lord Peter Wimsey" said Jake. "Who do you think did it?"  
  
"We should find out" Scout announced. He looked round at them. "I mean it. We've got contacts in town, Will and Jake are really smart, I think we can do it."

Bella saw Jake in Friendly's that evening, on her own in a booth. "Can you take over Daddy" Bella yelled, and ran across the road. Jake was hunched over a bowl of ice cream which she was stirring into smoosh. "Hey" said Bella.  
  
Jake raised her head. She looked crushed.  
  
Bella had heard today's news from Will and Scout and she cut out the preliminaries. "Did Ham talk you out of leaving Rawley?"  
  
"He talked me out of telling his parents I'm a girl" Jake corrected. She pushed the ice cream away. It was melted and squishy now anyway.  
  
- _that would mean leaving Rawley, yes_ - thought Bella. She thought Jake was over reacting. "Are you more worried about Ham's, ah, reputation than he-"  
  
"That's not it. He's having to lie to his parents now, and he feels so bad about it." She was making him do that. He'd told her that he'd rather lie than lose her, but maybe the least selfish thing to do would be to overrule him and go to the Dean. Jake chewed on her bottom lip.  
  
Bella sat opposite her. "Didn't you feel guilty about lying to your Mom when she came that weekend?"  
  
Jake thought about it, and surprised herself. "Not really." She felt so powerless with her Mom, the only way she could get some kind of control of the situation was through head games. For years now, any private information she let slip made her think she'd betrayed herself. It was like giving away something for nothing. 'Cause Mommie Dearest sure as hell wasn't letting Jake into her life. "I'm used to not telling Mom stuff. She's, like, this stranger who pays bills. But it's destroying him to mess with his parents' heads. He has this totally close family life. And this thing with Ryder ..Hamilton's life so sucks right now."  
  
"Scout talked to me about finding out about Ryder."  
  
Jake nodded.  
  
"Where was Hamilton when it happened?"  
  
"Asleep in bed."  
  
"That's only an alibi if someone else was there - oh." Bella had caught Jake's eye. They both blushed.  
  
"Uh - I'd better order. What would you like?" Jake jumped up hastily.  
  
"One of those sandwiches. Tell Rory it's for me, he'll know the kind."  
  
Jake came back soon. "What I'd like" she grumbled "is to ask Ryder what made him say it was Hamilton."  
  
Bella shrugged. "I'll ask Grace."  
  
"Grace?"  
  
"She's at the hospital now. It's visiting hour." Bella had a thought. "Maybe we should go and pick her up. Give her a lift home."  
  
Jake turned away. "Excuse me. Could you make that sandwich to go?"

* * *


	2. party LenaSean

When Jake and Bella were arriving at the hospital, Grace was on the verge of leaving. She'd been on the verge for a quarter of an hour, but they weren't to know that. "I've got to go now" Grace said reluctantly (repeating herself), but she lingered.  
  
"All right." Ryder took that calmly. "Hand me down something to read."  
  
There was a pile of paperbacks beyond his reach on the foot of the bed, battered books from the flashman series on top, a hardback of short stories, and at the bottom like a guilty secret, Jingo by Terry Pratchett. Grace picked up the hardback. "Sarky? What's that?" She laughed.  
  
"Saki. Edwardian short story writer."  
  
"That's cool."  
  
A smile flickered on his face, not a mean one. "Not really."  
  
"But you like him." The magazines all said, show an interest in the boy, but it was more than that. Ryder was so different, she wanted to know everything about him. He never tried to impress her. He never needed to try.  
  
He was about to say something, but then his face changed entirely. "Pratt."  
  
"Ryder."  
  
There was a lot more hostility between those two than Grace had realised. Ryder was sneering, Pratt was - Grace looked again. She had never seen him angry before. She looked from one to the other of them. It was like a bad Western before the shooting started.  
  
Ryder drawled "To what do I owe the pleasure-?"  
  
Bella showed up behind Jake's shoulder. "Why did you say Hamilton put you in here?" she demanded, angry and direct.  
  
Oh. Ryder vaguely remembered. Finn and the Dean had been in the room, asking him questions. He had just wanted to close his eyes. Finn said something about Hamilton. (Or had that happened? It might have been a dream, but what a disappointingly boring one) Oh. He remembered. He'd just wanted them to go away so he could close his eyes. So he said yes and they went and he conked out. Actually, he felt a bit bad about that. "Actually, I feel a bit bad about that" he said frankly.  
  
Jake drilled him with a look.  
  
He was getting no kudos for sincerity, then. "But, I mean.. it's **Fleming**."  
  
She folded her arms and glared some more.  
  
He appreciated that Pratt wouldn't see Fleming as the ideal victim, he wasn't stupid or anything, but come on - "He's the Dean's son. I mean - " A look of scientific curiosity crossed his face. "How far would he have to go to get expelled?"  
  
"I don't know. He's never tested it" Jake said dryly. "How about you get yourself expelled?" she invited Ryder cordially.  
  
Ryder just laughed. "No imagination - ow." His side hurt when he laughed.  
  
"Who did this to you?" Grace asked. He hadn't wanted to talk about it so she'd let him distract her earlier. She wanted to know.  
  
"I'd like to know." His mouth was a tense line.  
  
Grace shivered. She wouldn't like to have him angry with her.  
  
"That's funny. So would we." Jake bit the words off crisply.  
  
"We could get together. Work it out" Grace suggested eagerly. Anything to get that frightening, distant look off Greg's face. He hated being the victim. She could tell that much about him.

* * *

Ryder was not happy that two people he didn't want to see made it to his bedside. He wasn't afraid of Pratt and that townie blonde, but, alone, after they'd taken Grace, he did wonder who else might just wander in.  
  
Apparently, Krudsky and Calhoun might. Worse than that, Krudsky saw him flinch when he saw them. "Nervous?"  
  
"Alert" Ryder said shortly.  
  
"Alert is good" said Calhoun. Ryder ignored him. He was just Sidekick Boy.  
  
"I have friends in town -" began Will.  
  
"How touching."  
  
"I wouldn't expect you to know what it feels like to have friends anywhere."  
  
Too verbose, Ryder thought. "If you'd got it down to a soundbite, that might've stung."  
  
As expected, English Major passed on his advice. "I've heard things about you."  
  
Ryder supposed he was intended to bleat Things! What Things? and reveal all his mucky little secrets. "What can I say? I'm the centre of attention wherever I go. Charismatic, me." He looked longingly out the window at the final glow of a magnificent sunset. God, he was dying for a smoke.  
  
"You owe Joe money."  
  
"Everyone owes Joe money" Ryder said wearily.  
  
"Did Joe do it?"  
  
Not personally. Ryder would have recognised him, and he hadn't known these thugs. "Why" he said "-do you think Joe hired Hamilton?" He achieved a wide eyed look; he knew that annoyed Krudsky.  
  
Judging from Scout's blank expression, it was taking a minute for the penny to drop that he was persisting with the blame-Ham line. When Scout worked it out, he whined "Why'd you blame Ham?"  
  
"'S funny." Ryder planned to stick to that explanation. It sounded less wet than - _Finn said it and I'd've agreed to anything right then. Jack the Ripper? Me. Causing the Falklands War? Yup. The Princes in the Tower? It's a fair cop, guv. The terrible acting of that Kreuk girl on Smallville? Sorry 'bout that. -  
_  
"Funny" Will said with utter contempt.  
  
That boy really had no sense of humour, Ryder reflected.  
  
"Now we have to find out who did it, to clear Ham." Scout was still whiny.  
  
Ryder grinned. "Funny" he said again. In fact, hilarious. That lot would have the investigative skills of Enid Blyton children. "Hardy Boys." He remembered Bella, who was presumably part of this. "Meets Nancy Drew."  
  
"How'd you run up the debt with Joe?"  
  
Wonderingly, Ryder eyed Will. Comedy Bypass Boy was too permanently skint to have bought a tape recorder on which to incriminate him. On the other hand, Scout could get such a thing with his pocket change, and his wallet was Krudsky's wallet, so to speak.  
  
"Was it gambling?" Will asked.  
  
Ryder eyed him some more. **Of course**, it was gambling. Equally of course, he wasn't going to talk to this prissy knob about it. Shouldn't he be fending off searching questions from more official parties? "Where's the Dean?"  
  
"Calming down Mrs Fleming" Scout said. "It turns out she has gay issues."  
  
"Wait'll she finds out about Hammie-boy" Ryder said with malice. The quality of the silence got to him "..somebody's told her?" And he'd missed this, damn. Cautiously, he pulled himself further upright in the bed. "Who told her?"  
  
"Hamilton told" Will said.  
  
"Honesty is a beautiful thing." Ryder was torn between a desire to laugh and a concern for how much it would hurt if he let go. So, Fleming had upstaged him. He was second priority, even though he was on death's door. Ryder indulged in a bit of self pity. "I have to get back there" he muttered to himself.  
  
"You do?" He'd lost Scout.  
  
"The Fleming family needs our support" Ryder said unctuously. His opinions on the hospital's open door policy to visitors, he left unspoken. "Think I'll check myself out tomorrow morning." He indicated the door. "G'night ladies."  
  
It took a full two minutes of eyes closed, look-I'm-asleep-bog-off-now body language before they huffed out. Ryder's eyes popped open. He watched the door.

* * *

Listening to Finn drone on about Whitman in the classroom the following day, Ryder had second thoughts about returning to Rawley. He could've been elsewhere, reading something altogether less exclamatory.  
  
"-Ryder?" Finn must have noticed his inattention.  
  
That surprised him; he had thought Finn was engrossed in auditioning for the remake of Dead Poet Society. "Yeah, yeah. Mighty Yawp, yeah."  
  
Finn drew breath to blast him but then the bell went. Chairs scraped and the class noisily gathered bags and books. While the mob rushed out, Ryder went and scooped some pens from the stationery cupboard. His own were on the floor - it was too much hassle to retrieve them. He felt like a baby chucking teddies out of the pram. He couldn't bend, he couldn't twist, he couldn't reach. Screened by the cupboard door, he saw one of the girls from across the lake approaching Pratt. She had her tummy sucked in and a shy smile on her face. - _it's not going to do you any good, luv_ - thought Ryder.  
  
"Hey Jake."  
  
"Hey Lena."  
  
Ryder rolled his eyes. Scintillating. Oscar Wilde lived and died in vain, as far as these two were concerned.  
  
"I, uh, haven't seen you since this whole thing blew up."  
  
Jake was shoving textbooks into her backpack with excessive force. "It's not news to you. It's not news to anyone. I thought everyone knew except the Dean."  
  
"Kind-of knowing isn't the same as knowing." Lena pointed out. "Are you okay?"  
  
There was a thump as Jake rested her backpack on the desk. "Yeah. We're all right." Through the crack between door and cupboard, Ryder saw her look up at Lena and smile. "Thanks."  
  
The sound of someone bursting in. "Jake - why weren't you in the lab? We have Physics next.. oh. Lena." Said with all the enthusiasm you'd show a decomposing sandwich at the back of your locker.  
  
Ryder choked. This was more fun than Whitman.  
  
"We've got to get to class" Hamilton said determinedly, seizing Jake's backpack.  
  
"We'll see you at the thing" Jake said. "You're going, right? Sean said he'd asked you.."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Sean's cute, right?"  
  
"Jake-" Hamilton sounded hurt.  
  
"Ja-ake-" Lena sounded exasperated.  
  
"Okay, okay." Jake fell back a step, both hands in the air. "No more matchmaking. See ya."  
  
Ham hustled Jake out the door. "Sean is **not** cute-" His voice faded.

* * *

Half hidden in a stand of trees near the dorm, Ryder lifted his face to the moon and smoked. Last night he had been in a ward. Tonight he felt completely alone. Sudden noises breaking the quiet made him startle, but he was going to have to get over that. If a rattle of leaves or a glimpse of movement out of the corner of his eye made him run for cover then he was doubly a victim. He reasoned with himself in this way until he got bored. Boredom came quickly. His cigarette had gone out.  
  
That rustling in the bushes was too loud to be natural. Ryder tensed again. Then he recognised the voice. It was Scout. Not a threat.  
  
"Where's Hamilton? It's not fair making Bella wait."  
  
"Shut up Calhoun." That was Pratt.  
  
"He'll be here." That was Krudsky making the peace. "He has time. The truck hasn't arrived yet."  
  
It was like a radio play; he could hear them but not see them.  
  
Calhoun again: "If he isn't here when the truck comes, you'll bring him on your bike, right?"  
  
Pratt sighed. "I really feel like getting wasted tonight."  
  
"Oh Pinnochio. You're becoming a real boy."  
  
Ryder didn't expect Jake's snort of laughter. What was Krudsky's secret? He never got that easy a response, and his jokes about Pratt's masculinity were much wittier.  
  
"Hello ladies. Shouldn't you be tucked up in your dorms?" It was fun scaring them. Scout literally jumped.  
  
Hamilton loomed out of the trees. "What's he doing here?" He jerked a thumb toward Ryder.  
  
Ryder objected to being referred to in the third person. "I was thinking of going to a party." Yes, thought Ryder. Crowds, light, beer. Much better than brooding.  
  
The others looked at him in horror. "You're not going with us-" Scout was telling him when headlights swept over all of them. Bella's truck had just pulled up. Will watched the dorms to see if any of the windows had lit up.  
  
"Greg" Grace squealed. "You're coming too!"  
  
"News to me" Bella muttered. Will irritably reminded Grace to keep her voice down.  
  
Grace ignored Will, addressing Bella "Why would Sean tell you all about his party? He doesn't see you much. Since you **dumped** him for a rich kid."  
  
"Hello Grace" Scout said evenly.  
  
"Room in the back for me?" Ryder was already scrambling onto the truck, grinning at his girl Grace. 

Soon they were off, Ryder in the flat back of the truck, Grace next to him. He was trying not to look to his right, where Jake and Hamilton were cuddling. Aligning his cigarette and lighter was taking all his concentration. The driveway was bumpier than he'd ever realised. Did Bella's truck have any suspension? At all? he wondered. "Er. Do you?" Belatedly, he offered the pack to Grace.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Of course I don't. I live with big tanks of flammable liquid. Do I **look** suicidal?"  
  
"Big tanks. And here I thought she was called Bella." He drew on his cigarette. "I hadn't thought of that. Now, burning down Rawley wouldn't be a bad thing for me."  
  
"But you don't live in Rawley. You live in England."  
  
To his right Jake giggled like a girl. Ryder shifted his seat so his back was to Jake and Hamilton. "Uh, yeah." He surprised himself by admitting "I miss it."  
  
Grace surprised him by saying "That's obvious."

* * *

Jake slid down a little and let herself relax against Hamilton. They'd made the turn out of Rawley drive and the public highway was smoother. "This time tomorrow it will all be over" she muttered to herself.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Lunch. Your parentals."  
  
"It's a meal in a restaurant, dude." Hamilton didn't see why Jake was stressing. "Fanny's do great lobster rolls."  
  
"I hate seafood." Jake refused to be drawn out of her gloom.  
  
"What is it, really?" He couldn't read Jake's expression from this angle.  
  
"It's a family thing. I don't know-" Jake wasn't sure of the word "-the **rules**. And you guys are like, the Waltons, or something-"  
  
"Hey. There are no rules. And-" Hamilton recalled all the parent/child issues he'd come across among the boys at Rawley. "Well. I don't think anybody is the Waltons."  
  
"I used to love that programme. And the Cosby show."  
  
"And the Partridge Family."  
  
"Wait, I made you watch that **once**. Are you still mad at me?"  
  
"Oh yeah. Forever." 

Ryder thought he would shed the others when they got to Sean's place, but no, Grace stayed with him. "You're not comfortable with the Jake/Ham thing?" she guessed.  
  
Ryder looked down his nose at her. It would be young and dumb to be shockable. It would be gauche. That wasn't him.  
  
"It's worse for me" she pointed out.  
  
"You don't go to school with them." He wasn't homophobic, he told himself for the hundredth time. It was the P.D.A.s How could anyone look across a - an **English class**, with that much naked emotion. You'd think at least Finn would be an anaphrodisiac.  
  
"Yes, but I was flirting. With Jake. For weeks."  
  
Ryder burst out laughing, and Grace joined him.  
  
"God, I was embarrassed."  
  
"His loss" Ryder said with a grin. "Where do they keep the booze around here?"

* * *

On the porch, Sean jerked a thumb toward the stranger. "Who's he?" he asked Will.  
  
"Ryder. Grace invited him."  
  
"You know all those prejudices you have against Rawley guys?" Ham raised his eyebrows. "Well, with Ryder, those are all true."  
  
The townies near them looked thoughtful. "We'll keep an eye on him" said one.  
  
"Just an eye." Bella didn't like where this was going. "He got out of hospital this morning."  
  
"He's **that** one." Sean had heard rumours. "So, Ham, man-"  
  
"NO. I didn't beat Ryder up."  
  
"I heard it was Joe" Sean said, surprised. He'd been about to tease Ham about coming out of the closet. He didn't know Jake well enough to tease her about it.  
  
"Joe? Who said that?" Will put his soda down on the rail. He never drank beer.  
  
Sean frowned, trying to remember. "Wasn't really paying attention."  
  
"If you do hear anything, or remember-" Scout said earnestly.  
  
Jake rolled her eyes. "Scout wants us to detect this."  
  
"Don't get mixed up with Joe." The townie - the one who'd said he'd watch out for Ryder -wasn't smiling.  
  
Jake thought he was Mike or Marc. Ham would know. He'd played basketball a lot with these guys last summer. "Joe's a friend of Will's. Right?"  
  
"Ex friend. Ex."  
  
"We all used to hang out" Mike/Marc explained. "It's kind of a there but for the grace of God thing."  
  
"And speaking of Grace-" Bella's sister bounced up, looking cheerful. "Hey, Sean. This is Ryder."  
  
"Yeah." Sean and his friends curled their lips in Ryder's direction.  
  
Ryder looked wry. He could imagine the previews he'd got. Grace moved on to catch up with him after very little small talk. "It's not personal. They hate all Rawley guys."  
  
Ryder looked back at Will and his friends on the porch, all very cosy. "Yeah."  
  
Grace was right about one thing. There weren't many Rawley school people here. Only the group he had come with, and the girl coming out of the kitchen and manoevering through the crowds with a messy looking tortilla sandwich, half eaten, in her hands.  
  
"Lena."  
  
She nodded to Grace and eyed Ryder suspiciously.  
  
"I wondered why Bella didn't give you a lift."  
  
"I came over this afternoon to help Sean set up." She took a bite. Refried beans tried to escape.  
  
"You're coming back in the truck?"  
  
She nodded again, chewing, and backed away into Hamilton. He was staring at the sandwich. Then he fixed his last-puppy-in-the-shop eyes on Lena. Silently, she pointed to the kitchen door.  
  
"Hey Lena" said Jake, amused, as Ham moved off fast.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Jake was looking over her shoulder. "Huh. Ryder is teaching Grace how to take beer caps off with a lighter. And they say romance is dead."  
  
"Are they together now?" Lena didn't know much about Grace, but she detested Ryder. A sister of Bella's surely deserved better.  
  
"That would be, like, the Demon Couple of Rawley." Jake caught Lena's surprise. "Haven't you heard Bella vent about Grace?"  
  
"Not really." Lena had only got to know Bella and Scout and Will recently. "It's probably just normal sibling fighting" she ventured.  
  
Jake shrugged. "I'm an only child. I totally don't get family issues." She knew she was going to say the wrong thing when she was with the Flemings. She sighed. "Can I get you a drink?"  
There was a crush of people around the bottles. "Why don't you talk to Bella" Jake suggested. "I'll get it."  
  
Bella was people watching from near a window.  
  
"Jake said he's getting us drinks" Lena said.  
  
"I hope he remembers which brand I hate."  
  
"He'll remember. Jake's so smooth."  
  
"Uh, yeah."  
  
They watched Ham intercept Jake on her way over to them. He relieved her of a six-pack, and she said something that made him laugh.  
  
"I still think it's a waste they're gay," Lena said a bit defiantly, watching them.  
  
"They're good for each other." Bella was not particularly sympathetic. "Sean being single, now **that's** a waste."  
  
"Subtle, Bella, very subtle." But Lena wasn't upset.

Jake and Hamilton came over.  
  
"I got food." Ham proudly waved a huge packet of crisps as he arrived.  
  
Jake hitched herself up to perch on the window sill. "That might soak up some of the alcohol." Jake looked critically at Bella.  
  
"Will is driving us home. Anyway, you're the one who kept saying you meant to get wasted."  
  
Jake groaned. "Sunday lunch. Don't remind me."

They hung around and talked for a bit. Jake's foot beat time to the music. "You wanna dance?" she asked her boyfriend.  
  
He choked on his beer. "With you?" Seeing her face turn sarcastic, he stammered "I mean-"  
  
"You're out" Lena reminded him.  
  
"In Rawley. This is Edmund High."  
  
"You're out in Edmund High" Bella said flatly.  
  
Hamilton scanned the room. "Everybody here knows?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Hamilton looked floored.  
  
"Look." Bella pushed away from the wall she was leaning on. "This is Sean's place. If he says you're cool, you're cool. People kind of listen to him at school." She glanced sideways to see if Lena had registered the last bit.  
  
"He's a smart guy" Lena agreed.  
  
"And Sean's your friend, and most of these guys know you from basketball last summer, and it's Not A Problem" Jake said, impatient. "So, let's dance." She towed Hamilton away.

* * *

It was late now and a lot of the crowd had thinned. Sean detached himself from the edge of a group post morteming the reputations of the departed "-and she admitted that?!" "And I was, like, oh, no, no-" and wandered over to Hamilton who was sprawled on a sofa on his own. Ham looked slightly smashed and very tranquil.  
  
"Hey. Jake wear you out?"  
  
"For dancing yeah." Hamilton wasn't too keen on dancing. "She's with Lena now."  
  
Sean knew that. He'd had half an eye on who Lena was dancing with or talking to for most of the evening. A good part of time, he'd spent with her himself. He and Ham sat for a bit in a comfortable silence. Marc came over and joined them. "Marc's worried you have a problem with him." Okay, maybe Sean had drunk a bit too.  
  
"Whuh? No problem." Ham thought about it. "Why would I have a problem?"  
  
"Well you were on the team, and Marc was substitute. But now-"  
  
"I can hardly ever make it" Ham said calmly. "You're worried about that, man?"  
  
"You're cool?" said Marc.  
  
"Yeah no problem."  
  
Sean thought back to the time Will got tossed off the team for over committing.  
  
Ham said "That reminds me. Those pictures I took of the game."  
  
"You developed them?"  
  
"Yeah, I brought copies. I mean. If you want."  
  
"Yeah cool. You may have the only record ever of 'Berto getting a basket" Marc joked.  
  
"He can't help it that he's, like, three foot tall."  
  
Ham shrugged. "I needed more action shots in my portfolio." Where had he left the pictures? He scanned the room. "Can you see Jake's bag? It's a red backpack."  
  
"Is that it on the floor near Baz?"  
  
Baz? Who?  
  
"Bodybuilder type. Sitting alone."  
  
Ham looked round wildly and Sean took pity on him.  
  
"Over where the nachos were earlier." He knew Ham would know where the food was.  
  
Marc gave Ham a sly look. "Baz works for Joe. Will can tell you about him."  
  
"OK, fine." Hamilton heaved himself out of the sofa. The other two stayed right where they were.  
  
"We don't want to talk to Baz" Sean said without inflection.  
  
Ham was confused. Sean had been circulating all evening. "You invited-"  
  
Marc interrupted. "Where does an 800lb gorilla sit?"  
  
"Wherever it wants to, but, oh. He crashed?" Ham would have expected Sean to throw crashers out. He made a note to ask Will about this.

* * *

Ryder and Grace sat on the step of the porch outside. Grace was getting cold.  
  
"Look at the stars."  
  
"Seen 'em. Give me your jacket." Shivering and looking girlishly wistful hadn't worked, but Grace knew it didn't work outside of TV.  
  
Ryder looked blank. "But then **I'll** be cold."  
  
"It was your choice to come out here."  
  
"I like the sky."  
  
"And this has nothing to do with Baz" she said sceptically.  
  
Ryder didn't answer.  
  
"Big guy? Looks like a shaved gorilla? Sitting-" Grace glanced back at the window "-where the nachos were?"  
  
He was in Grace's line of sight? Ryder got up and started walking.  
  
Grace stayed with him. Exercise might warm her up. "You went out the door the minute he came in."  
  
"I must be afraid of him."  
  
Grace measured him. "He could throw a heavier punch than you."  
  
Doubtless, this was townie expertise talking. "I don't hit people."  
  
"No?"  
  
"No. I prefer to use my tongue."  
  
"That's good in a man."  
  
Ryder dropped his cigarette, rattled.  
  
Grace expertly ground it out. "I mean, brain wins over muscle, any day. Look at Joe. He's not a big guy."  
  
"You were born to be a gangster's moll."  
  
"Don't patronize me." 


	3. Sunday lunch, Flemings Sean's

disclaimer: not mine: the delay in uploading is down to real life. drat real life

* * *

The following morning Scout sat by the window in his dorm. He was trying to distract himself from the foul taste in his mouth by reading his English assignment. The sentences went on and on and on. Scout hurled the book at the wall. Pages fell out. "You'd think, over **hundreds** of pages, he'd have the time to tell you what's happening."  
  
Will just lay there composing a journal entry.  
  
"Subtext" Scout added bitterly.  
  
"I told you you should drink more water before going to sleep." Will got up and rescued Henry James from the floor. Tucking the lost pages back in place, he asked "How much of this are you absorbing?"  
  
Scout snarled "**And** the sun hurts my eyes."  
  
Will handed him back the novel and, reasonably sympathetically given he was a teetotaller, a bottle of water. "Alcott would be more your speed this morning."  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Louisa May Alcott: she wrote-"  
  
"Very funny." Scout pulled sunglasses out of a drawer. "She wrote a book called Jo's Boys."  
  
"What?" That was pretty random, even for Scout.  
  
"Something Bella said last night. I just remembered. There was this guy she said was one of Joe's boys."  
  
"Baz."  
  
"Big guy. Expensive watch. She said you used to be close."  
  
Will rolled his eyes. "It's a small town; we're about the same age. Sean, me, Joe, Baz. We ran together for years."  
  
Scout was confused: _What could they possibly have had in common? Baz looked like a thug_.  
  
Will continued thoughtfully "None of us wanted to settle for this town. We all wanted ..more."  
  
"Is that when you learned to pick locks?"  
  
Will snapped back to the present tense. "It really freaks you out that I know that stuff."  
  
"If you hadn't got the scholarship-"  
  
"..yeah?"  
  
"What would you have become?"  
  
Will didn't know. That was the thing. He fiddled with Henry James, aligning the unbound pages more neatly. "Another Joe, maybe. Not like Baz."  
  
Scout was going to ask about Joe, but after several thumps at the door, Jake burst in. She was wearing a shirt and tie and a stressed expression. "I can't get the tie right."  
  
Scout pushed his sunglasses further up his nose. "Don't **shout**."  
  
Jake shot him a resentful look. "I just did my oxfords. Shoe polish and a hangover - so not a good combination. And you get to lounge around-"  
  
"I'm reading Henry James-"  
  
"- enjoying yourself-"  
  
"-enjoying? Washington Bowl?"  
  
"I'll get your tie" said Will.  
  
"Thanks man. The knot won't go how I want it."

* * *

Reluctant as a convict headed for execution, Jake's feet dragged on her way across the lawn. Hamilton jogged away from his parents to meet her. He grabbed her hands and squeezed them. "This is gonna be okay" she heard herself say. _Ham must be so freaked out by this_.  
  
He kissed her, then at her reaction said "What? You worried they'll work out we're together?"  
  
She smothered a laugh self consciously.  
  
"I don't have to pretend I'm not into you anymore." He liked that. Still holding her hand, he turned so they could walk to his parents' car.  
  
Mrs Fleming was looking at their joined hands as if the sight made her gag. Jake tugged to get free, without success. Her eyes flew to Hamilton's dad. He was looking inscrutable and Deanlike.  
  
Jake hadn't seen enough of him to know how to read his feelings. She had always taken good care to stay out of his path. This being a boy deal hadn't been intended for serious scrutiny, and, really, a big part of her was not happy that it had held up quite so long. Yes, she was doing her damndest to pass, but surely, she was feminine, right? So, her position had led her to stay out of the Dean's way. Jake swallowed convulsively. If openly dating his son wasn't drawing attention to herself, then what was?  
  
"Um, Mrs Fleming, sir, I'm not late am I?" She squeezed Hamilton's fingers.  
  
"Well, Mr Pratt." The Dean's voice was solemn, even in this casual context. "Have you decided what to order yet?"  
  
_It's nice to be asked_, Jake thought ascerbically. It didn't help her mindset that this was the venue of that grim first date. She peeked at Hamilton but he was intent on the menu.  
  
"Not quite" she replied " ..and please, call me Jake."  
  
"Jake, then" he said, and glanced awkwardly at his wife. She usually took care of small talk for him. But right now Kate was feigning absorbtion in the menu, even though he knew perfectly well she was going to order lobster rolls. She always did. "The lobster rolls are good" he told Jake.  
  
Kate looked over at her husband quickly. She knew what he was thinking.  
  
"I hate seafood" Jake said flatly.  
  
Steven sighed, and kept trying. "So.. what are your favourite subjects in school?" He saw Hamilton come out of his daze to shake his head and roll his eyes. It was a reasonable question, Steven thought.  
  
"Um, IT, computers." (Jake heard her mother's voice in her head giving interview advice to a friend. "- and give one team sport so you sound like a well rounded person.") "And I enjoy crew." Jake wondered if this was what a job interview felt like.  
  
Steven watched Kate reacting to that. Of course, the boys must have met through crew. He supposed that even if they hadn't met that way they would inevitably have run into each other. He had caught innumerable sneaked glances between them, not to mention Hamilton's effort to hold hands under the table. As an attempt to reduce Jake's stress level, it had backfired seriously when Jake spotted the Dean noticing them. Steven was sorry about that.  
  
He wondered what sort of person Jake was when not ratchetted up to this level of tension. At present whatever charisma had drawn Ham to him was deeply concealed. He wondered if fatherly responsibility really obliged him to find out what sort of person Jake was. He felt dispirited by the task.  
  
Why were the boys looking like that? Oh. **Far** too long a conversational silence, (bad). He automatically looked to Kate for help, but she was involved in catching a waiter's eye. Break the silence, somehow.  
  
"Hamilton. Have you completed your assignments for Monday?"

* * *

"oh god." Jake regarded herself in the mens' room mirror. "I look like I'm in drag."  
  
"Uhh, Jake-"  
  
Jake shot Hamilton a defensive glare. "Jeans and sweatshirt is kinda unisex." But this; formal white shirt, dark green silk tie borrowed from Scout, off the peg suit hastily bought in Carson, laced shoes.. The shoes weighed a ton. She felt like she was moonwalking in those thick heavy soles. "- oh god."  
  
"We ought to get back out there." Hamilton danced with restlessness.  
  
"Oh yeah. Boys don't go to the bathroom at the same time." It was another of the boy-rules Jake had memorized without fully understanding. "Why is that?" She returned to being hypnotized by her reflection.  
  
Ham blushed. "You don't want anyone to think you might be, uh, you know,"  
  
"Ham you just **told** your family you're gay."  
  
"That makes it worse. They might think we're-"  
  
Now they were both blushing. "We **couldn't**". How could we? It's a bathroom. Totally not romantic.. what?"  
  
"Cotillion."  
  
Jake let out a breath of laughter. "All right." That memory relaxed her slightly.  
  
"C'mon. You can't put off returning to the table forever."  
  
"If you think that" Jake said darkly "why'd you follow to haul my ass back?"  
  
"You'd been gone Ten Minutes Jake. C'mon" he repeated.

* * *

Rawley main road had that whole Sunday roast lunch torpor thing going. Ryder leant against the petrol pumps sucking tobacco deeply into his lungs. A paperback lay forgotten in his lap. The hick beautician, the burger den, the grocers with a slurry of overripe fruit, Grace's pumps; they were all shut. Not a soul was to be seen until a car stopped briefly to disgorge Fleming and Pratt. They were wearing suits. Had the Flemings taken Pratt to morning service or something? Pratt was backing away from the Dean's car chanting thank yous. He had an aura of restrained panic about him. Fleming muttered something to him as the car pulled away.  
  
"You think I'm hot in this." Pratt's voice was flat in disbelief, and overloud.  
  
Ryder had to concentrate to make out Hamilton's reply. "You've given me some serious kinks." Ryder couldn't work out if that was a joke or not.  
  
Neither, it seemed, could Pratt. He gave Hamilton a quick, nervous glance. "I'm sorry-" He broke off. "I've said it so many times, I know, but-"  
  
Hamilton interrupted. "You always look hot."  
  
Pratt pulled his boyfriend into an alcove and they threw themselves at each other with might and main and - dear lord - tongue. Ryder passed from astonishment, through vicarious embarrassment - which wasn't his sort of emotion, oh no. Ryder wasn't shockable - till at last, by the time they came up for air, he was annoyed. "I know it's been **hours** -"  
  
The couple spun round. He blatantly checked out the formal wear. "Your committment ceremony. Aww, why wasn't I invited?" He smirked. "Who was best man?"  
  
"What are you doing here? Waiting for Grace?" Pratt said her name with such disdain. Git.  
  
Well, Grace had told him things about the lovely Bella and their friend Calhoun which put that Senatorial toerag, and any moron who befriended him, in a very poor position to throw stones. "Jacob. Grace is the poster girl for normal, around here." He wondered if Pratt and Fleming were up to speed on the incest story. Impossible to tell, really. Ryder felt cold inside. The more he saw of grubby human impulses, the more he wished he were some other species. And he didn't like animals, either. Maybe, a cat.. he could probably do feline.  
  
While he thought this he traded barbs on auto pilot with the boys. It wasn't even fun taunting them now they were out of the closet. Grace joined them all during this futile exchange. She wanted to know how Ryder was.  
  
He grumbled, hating himself as soon as the words left his mouth. He despised moaning minnies. "These bollixing bandages I have to bind myself up in. I can hardly breathe."  
  
Jake pursed his lips. No sympathy there.  
  
Fleming plucked the dwindling fag out of his fingers and ground it out with ridiculous thoroughness. "Smoking won't help you breathe."  
  
From behind Ryder, Bella thanked Ham. "-Smoking's dangerous near the pumps. How did lunch go?"  
  
"Okay" Ham said.  
  
Out of his sightline, Jake vigorously shook her head and pulled faces to indicate what a lie that was. Bella wasn't paying attention, instead, she was briskly telling Grace to mind the station "-it's more than your turn."  
  
Grace made a practiced pout.  
  
"What are you doing Ryder?" Bella turned on him.  
  
She obviously hoped he'd sod off. Ryder said "I'm staying with my girl Grace." He looked round. Every face had written on it in clear print, _what is he up to now? _He grinned cheekily at them all.  
  
"Come on" Bella said to Pratt and Fleming. "I promised Sean we'd help clean up. Do you know, Lena walked all the way back over to Sean's this morning?"  
  
"Lena?" Ryder was surprised. "I thought she still had the hots for Jakey, here."  
  
"I don't think so" Jake gritted.  
  
"O, come onnn" Ryder drawled out. "Those boyband looks, girls love that. Cute, and, all importantly, unthreatening."  
  
Jake spluttered.  
  
"Yeah, ah, let's go" Bella said hastily. Ham looked like losing his temper. She caught at his arm, then Jake's, and indicated her truck with a jerk of her head. It was parked on the forecourt. Will had walked the mile from here to the school at dawn, after dropping the rest off outside the gates and doubling back to get her and Grace safely home.  
  
Ryder watched them head out, then followed Grace into the kitchen. He didn't care to be alone, lately. "Cuppa tea?" he asked.  
  
"Tea?"  
  
"I'm going with the stereotype. I know it turns you on."  
  
She had a good honest laugh. He liked to provoke it. It was like giving her a very cheap present. The only sort he could manage right now. He frowned. All his thoughts went to the same place.

* * *

Sean was in front of his house, carrying out a refuse sack of beer cans, when the truck pulled up. "Hey. It's pretty much in hand" he greeted them. Lena had been and gone.  
  
Ham said "We would have come earlier. We had to do the lunch thing."  
  
"Oh yeah. How'd that go?"  
  
"It was fine-" This time Hamilton caught Jake's pantomimed disagreement "-baby it **was**. Next week'll be better."  
  
Jake's jaw dropped. Next week?  
  
"-Mom'll come round."  
  
Jake groaned aloud.  
  
Sean returned to the house hiding a smirk. Bella was surveying the living room, hands on hips. "This is pretty good."  
  
"You should've seen it first thing."  
  
Bella extracted two almost empty glasses from under a chair. They were from a set his mom loved. He had thought someone broke them. "You didn't get everything."  
  
"I did the visible bits."  
  
Bella gave him the raised eyebrows he'd so often seen her turn on Grace. The others joined them. "The kitchen's a bomb site" Ham observed. Jake swatted him.  
  
Sean looked tired. "I've got to do something about that so's I can eat."  
  
Bella handed him a doggybag she'd brought. "I made extra at lunch. Stick this in the microwave."

Soon after, Sean was wolfing down reheated meat loaf while the other three washed up glasses.  
  
"What was the deal with that gatecrasher?" Hamilton wanted to know.  
  
"Grace thinks Baz actually did beat Ryder up" Bella told them. "Ryder acted totally weird around him."  
  
"So Ham is off the hook for that? (Bella, this is sprouts)."  
  
"(I cooked them. Eat them.) Yes."  
  
"Lack of evidence" Jake said drily. "Combined with, they went back and asked Ryder again, and he said he wasn't sure."  
  
"Wanker" mumbled Hamilton.  
  
Sean choked. Swallowing his mouthful lumpy, he protested "You can't say that. Bella is here, Jake is here-"  
  
Jake caught Bella's eye, and grinned faintly.  
  
"Jake says that more than I do-"  
  
Bella sighed quietly, and stepped in. "Have you guys noticed about Ryder's car?"  
  
"Only as part of her boy-disguise - what car? I suppose he has one, rich snob, but-"  
  
"Red. Sports car." Hamilton wondered where Bella was going. "What about it?"  
  
"I saw it on a used car lot in Carson."  
  
"The same one?"  
  
"Ham. Cars are my thing. It was the same one."  
  
"He's been walking everywhere for the last week." Jake shrugged, not caring.  
  
"The car was probably being detailed. You know, to get the BLOOD off." Hamilton glowered into the bowl of greasy water.  
  
"Maybe he needed to pay somebody off." Sean carried his plate to the sink. "That reminds me, Scout told me-"  
  
"-what?"  
  
"I'm trying to remember. It was some story about a hanger on of Ryder's, making a cellphone call to him, and the call was picked up by a stranger. Some townie'd won the phone in a poker game."  
  
"Is, uh, Baz, good at poker then?" Ham wiped his hands dry.  
  
"No. **Joe** is good at poker."  
  
"And Ryder, apparently, isn't." Jake unrolled her shirt sleeves and retrieved her suit jacket from where it was draped over a chairback. "Is this important? 'Cause, nobody thinks Ham did it anymore."  
  
"My baby sister is going out with him."  
  
"Oh. Yeah. There's that."  
  
They all sensed it wasn't the moment to remind Bella about her Grace-diatribes in the past.  
  
"So, you want to grass on Joe?" Sean wasn't clear on Bella's intentions. Joe was currently a jerk, but Sean remembered being friends-  
  
"No!" Bella searched their faces. Hamilton looked as if he were sucking lemons. "Just, stop him going after Grace's boyfriend."  
  
Hamilton turned away and stared out over the yard.  
  
"The car, the cellphone-" Jake was dubious. "Bell, this whole thing is probably dealt with."  
  
"He's still kind of jumpy. I think there's more."

* * *


	4. Ryder's winning ways

* * *

Over in the gas station, Grace was slamming down the phone. Her face was flushed with anger. Pretty pink cheeks, Ryder thought. "Who was that?" he said.  
  
"My mother. Only she's Not my mother."  
  
Ryder was confused. Was this a stepmother then? He was a bit outside the Rawley grapevine, but he raked his memory for anything on the Banks family.  
  
"We have some genes the same. That's it."  
  
Oh. Standard mother/daughter strop. How like the homelife of our own dear Queen.  
  
"You know, I wouldn't be able to pick her out of a police line-up? Bella tore up all the photos."  
  
How typically high handed of Bella. "She left?" he asked. Stupid, stupid question. He kicked himself.  
  
"I was still a baby." She wasn't really talking to him. He just happened to be in the room.  
  
"When'd she get back in touch?" he asked, cautious.  
  
"Couple of months ago. She sent presents. Like she can buy her way back into the family." Grace folded her arms tightly.  
  
Ryder's mouth twisted. "Like my stepfather."  
  
"You know how that is?" Grace said absently.  
  
"Read the book, seen the movie, worn the bloody Tshirt." His stepfather paid the extortionate fees for this vile little school. Everyone said he should be grateful, but how can you be grateful for a life you didn't choose? Being a minor just meant being pushed around, and then being told you should like it. He looked at Grace, who was scowling at the phone. At least she still had her self respect. "You send the presents back, don't you." It wasn't a question.  
  
"Well, yeah." Durr, said her tone.  
  
"There's more." His voice was quiet. He couldn't work out what it was, but there was something else eating at her.  
  
"I want to see her. Not presents, just, see her. Talk. I want to know what she's like."  
  
Ryder sincerely doubted that a single meeting could be as soul baring as all that. "You don't know where she is."  
  
"Yes I do."  
  
Okay. The hell with it. "Go, then."  
  
"But, the station-"  
  
"I'll take care of the station." - _It's a minimum wage job. How difficult can it be? -  
_  
Grace was not so sure at first. "But I promised Bella.. Oh, what the hell. She doesn't trust me anyway. She'll have a backup plan."  
  
**I'm** a backup plan in myself, Ryder thought. Didn't Grace appreciate how he was staying here alone, exposed to Joe's finding him? Ah. Apparantly not. The alone thing was interesting too. The henchminions he'd scraped together at Rawley had melted away. He hadn't been so funny for the last few days, and the abrasions on his face only reminded them of the uncool victim thing.  
  
Once Grace had gone, he surveyed his territory. In the glassed off shop area was a carton of Coke bottles, half of them stickered, a price gun lying on top. Ryder studied the invoice and shook his head over the mark up. He left the work severely alone, but he did find some chocolate bars he liked. Chewing thoughtfully, he retrieved the Mortdecai Trilogy from the forecourt and retired behind the cash register to put his feet up.  
  
He was a bit narked when the doorbell interrupted him. Mortdecai had just been concussed and when he came to in a couple of paragraphs he was going to be highly sarcastic. The stranger Ryder was scowling at wasn't even a car driver. What was he doing in a petrol station? Did he want barbeque stuff? "What?"  
  
The other man looked taken aback. "Uh, I wondered, uh, do you, uh-"  
  
Spit it out, thought Ryder, and turned a page.  
  
"-you know, those things."  
  
Was he supposed to be a mind reader? "What things?"  
  
"You put them in water and they swell up."  
  
"Tampons?" Ryder hazarded a guess. When he was six he used to break into his big sister's supply. Of course, the Japanese paper flowers actually designed for finger bowls were prettier. Ah, childhood memories.  
  
"No!" The other man blushed. "You know, you eat-"  
  
"Pot noodle." Ryder's voice went up, incredulous. "In a petrol station? Are you mad-"  
  
The man seized a packet from one of the shelves. Apparantly the Banks did sell bad food on the side.  
  
Well, if this loser had the use of his eyes, why was he asking trick questions? Ryder folded his arms and heaved a big in and out sigh. Imagine eating that junk for Sunday lunch. Or ever. Ugh.  
  
"How much?" Now the man was pissed off at him. -_Yeah, like it's my decision the idiot's going to die of malnutrition.- _Ryder thought indignantly_.  
_  
"I can't see the price tag from here." Ryder snatched it, joking, "Mother always said I'd go blind."  
  
"What?"  
  
Ryder looked up innocently. "Reading in bed; that's two dollars fifty cents." He translated it silently into sterling. Twice, since he couldn't believe the math. He had time, the man was fumbling at himself. You'd think his fingers were made of bananas. "Stop fellating yourself an' get the money out."  
  
A cool breeze tickled Ryder's face and alerted him that Bella was on the threshold. She was swelling with rage like some ancient goddess of Righteous Indignation. The part of Ryder's mind that got him into so much trouble tried to remember if the Greeks had a goddess for that. Sometimes it felt like he physically couldn't focus on the immediate problem. He caught Bella's eye, and for a moment everything was very very clear. His immediate problem was Bella. She swept in.

* * *

Outside, Sean, Jake and Hamilton hung back. When the scene gave no sign of ending soon, they seated themselves under the flagpole and drank in the show. The body language suggested Ryder was getting the worst of it.  
  
"I wish I could lip read" Ham said yearningly.  
  
"You could go in and join them" was Sean's suggestion.  
  
"I don't Think so." Hamilton dropped an arm heavily on Jake's shoulder. She glanced sideways at the big hand hanging lax an inch in front of her collarbone. "Ham, you might just buy me a Tshirt inscribed Property of Hamilton Fleming."  
  
"Hey." He was all struck with the idea. "You'd wear that?"  
  
She jerked bolt upright. "It was a **joke** - Ham - oh god" as he started to laugh. "I really fell for that."  
  
Scout's bike skidded to a halt behind them. "Hey. What's up?"  
  
Not turning, Ham drawled "Your girlfriend is tearing Ryder limb from limb. Don't stop her."  
  
Scout chuckled. "Wouldn't dream of it. Is Will back yet?"  
  
"He's back now." Sean was looking past Scout.  
  
"Hey." Scout turned. "How'd the family lunch go?"  
  
"It was-" Ham stopped. He realised Scout meant Will's lunch.  
  
"It was just glorious." To sound any more sarcastic, Will would've needed irony implants.  
  
Jake nodded sympathetically.  
  
Will threw himself heavily on the concrete ledge ringing the flag. "Dad said something you'd be interested in, Scout."  
  
Scout was all astonishment.  
  
"He's been drinking with Joe lately."  
  
Everyone studiously failed to comment on Mr Krudsky's taste in drinking buddies - or on Joe's.  
  
"-and Joe said-"  
  
"Yeah?" Scout coaxed. "'Cause I can't stop myself thinking-"  
  
Sean tilted his head back and smiled at the sky. He might have graciously smoothed Bella's move onward, but he hadn't raised his opinion of Scout any. Dumber than a silent movie.  
  
"-thinking about how that worked out" Scout said, earnest.  
  
"Dad said Joe has some kind of dirt on Ryder. He's got money out of him on the strength of it, and he expects more."  
  
"What dirt?" -"wait, later." -"They're coming." - "Blackmail?" - all at once.  
  
Bella and Ryder were coming out of the shop.  
  
"I'll check on the computer for more about what you said" Jake said before they arrived.  
  
Ryder was telling Bella "That's how I am, luv. You can't just pick and choose. I'm not a buffet table, I'm-"  
  
"A school dinner?" Ham suggested sweetly.  
  
Ryder shrugged. "It's **your** school."  
  
Blaming Hamilton for the catering was so unfair. He hated bad food more than any of them.

* * *


	5. saved by Grace

end of story- I don't end these tidily enough.

* * *

Ryder was feeling very sorry for himself. The others were on the forecourt soaking up the sun and arguing about movies. From the shop he could hear Hamilton talking.  
  
"-that bad 80s matinee they showed last Saturday?"  
  
"Bad. Eighties. Tautological" murmured Will.  
  
"You are the only people I know" Scout said "who would think that's a date movie."  
  
"Oh come on, don't you think the Kid looks like Jake?"  
  
That stopped everyone in their tracks. They looked closely at Jake. Poker faced, she did the gesture. "Wax on, wax off."  
  
Scout and Will cracked up.  
  
"You could try and back me up here" Ham complained to his best friend.  
  
Her reply was drowned by Scout, who turned out to have shamelessly sentimental taste in film. Or was he trying to rack up brownie points with Bella? "Big girl's blouse" Ryder muttered.  
  
Ryder felt like he wasn't alone in the room any more. He looked over his shoulder. Grace had got back. Whatever breakthrough she had hoped for with her mom hadn't happened. "You all right?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Only asking." She looked as depressed as he usually felt. He turned back to stare gloomily out the window again.  
  
"When are you going to come clean with them?"  
  
"What?" What was she **on** about?  
  
"I asked Joe what's going on, you know."  
  
He gave Grace his attention.  
  
"After the party. They don't know yet, but it's a matter of time before they find out." Grace dragged a kitchen chair noisily across the tile floor and flopped down in it. "You should be glad."  
  
"**Glad,**" he said flatly. What had Joe told her? Clearly, not the truth.  
  
"You said-" Grace was disconcerting him now "-that the guys at Rawley just saw you as Generic English Guy. And if you were cranky, that was English. And if you were bad at French, that was English. And if you were blond, English people were blond. Like you're representative."  
  
This was bunny boiler stuff. "You know, **I** don't pay this close attention to the bilge I spout.. by the way, love the way you paraphrased idiosyncracy - too big a word for a Yank?"  
  
Grace gave him the finger.  
  
Ryder smirked.  
  
"They can't see this thing as a national trait."  
  
"And yet I'm not rushing to claim my identity as a head case. Strangely."  
  
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself."  
  
Grace might be good for me, Ryder thought. In an unpleasant, cough medicine, way. "That's rather the point of being depressive."  
  
"Don't you have stuff you can take?"  
  
A very practical thought. "Baz took it. He thought it was recreational." Ryder grinned like a shark. "I hope he liked it."  
  
"He probably sold it on. Prozac?"  
  
"Ah, lithium." He'd been enjoying the thought of Baz getting the shaking hands and hyperactive bladder. There'd been plenty of pills there; he'd been skipping dosages. It didn't seem so urgent when he was on an up, which he had been - until the beating. "You're raining on my parade again."  
  
Grace shrugged. And that was another thing.  
  
"Don't you mind, knowing about this?"  
  
"You have mood swings." Grace rolled her eyes. "I knew that already. Because, like, I've **met** you." She added seriously "You were stupid keeping this a secret."  
  
"I'm so grateful for your advice." She was three years younger than him, and the furthest she'd ever been was sodding Carson, and what did she know about this? Come to think of it, what did she know? "So, you're an expert now."  
  
"Nooo." She drew out the negative. "I went on the net this morning. I read some things."  
  
"I'm moved. No, really. You tore yourself away from the diCaprio fansites and based on a quarter hour's surfing - shouldn't you have been scraping vegetables with big sis? - you're all set to tell me how it is-"  
  
"Why won't you look at me?" He had been watching Bella and her friends all through this.  
  
"If any of that lot come in here, this conversation ends. Got that?"  
  
"They won't. Okay then. Tell me how it is." Grace assumed an aggressively listening attitude.  
  
"Grace. Let me put this in simple words for you. You're intruding."  
  
She could cheerfully have hit him. The "Grace Banks plays Mother Teresa" show came to town rarely enough - he could try to be polite in return. This morning, her own mother had advised her to dump him. Donna had said "Honey, you only have one life-" but Grace was trying to make this work, damn it. It was hard to see, through the personal cloud of misery, the guy she'd watched from a distance, energetic, the centre of a crowd, making everyone laugh. That guy had been cute. She'd wanted to be with him, and now she got to be with his evil twin. There were times when she believed Bella's theory about the Townie curse.  
  
"Look. This should be going better." He was acutely aware that he wasn't a lot of laughs right now. He was starting to like Grace, over the last few days. He wanted to impress her. "I'm not exactly Mr Life and Soul-"  
  
Grace snorted. Caroline Busse would never have snorted. Caroline Busse wasn't big on facial expression or messy emotions either.  
  
"Yeah, well." He heard himself say "I'll make it up to you. This goes in cycles. It'll be better."  
  
Grace said "You need to get help."

* * *

Scout took a lot of persuading. He was certain they'd be caught breaking into the room. Will's ability to pick locks in itself continued to freak him out. Now, he found out that Hamilton could get into any part of the school.  
  
"You're all delinquents. Explain to me why we plan getting involved with Ryder anyway."  
  
"Good point." Hamilton was with him on this one. Ham hated Ryder, and, surely, he'd mentioned this. Like, several times.  
  
"We're involved already. Remember Grace?" Will led the other three down the corridor to Ryder's room. Grace had dragged Ryder off to Carson for the rest of Sunday.  
  
"Those two are weird together." All the way back to school, Scout had been telling Will what he thought of Grace and Ryder. Will had listened carefully, only interrupting to check whether Scout had been this frank to Bella about her baby sister. Because Bella felt she had a monopoly on bitching about Grace.  
  
Jake agreed with Scout about the weird of it all. "Grace and Ryder - they're like a nest of baby vipers. You don't know whether to go Aww or Ew."  
  
Scout now pulled Jake well back while Ham worked on the lock. "If anyone shows, you get out of here" he told her. She nodded once; the last thing she needed was official attention.  
  
The door swung open.  
  
"You keep an eye on the door, Scout." Will and Hamilton turned over the room. Ham knew all the nooks and crannies. He'd played in the empty dorms when he was little. They sniggered when they found Buffy DVDs under the bed.  
  
Jake had slid straight into a chair in front of the computer. It was harder than she expected to find her way in. "He's good. He might be a hacker."  
  
Hamilton started coughing from the dust on top of the wardrobe.  
  
"What are his bookmarks?" Will wanted to know. The credit card statements in his hands mapped a spending spree a couple of months ago. Maybe that explained the money problems now.  
  
"I haven't got in yet."  
  
Will's brows went up. If viagra spam could find it's way into every inbox in the world, surely Jake could get in here. Jake was good. Hamilton kept telling him so. "You haven't?" he repeated.  
  
Ham jumped down from the chair he was standing on and went to hover behind Jake. He picked up a sheet of A4 covered with Jake's scrawl. "What's this?"  
  
"I was working on passwords he might use."  
  
Hamilton read the words thoughtfully. "This is what we think of him. Not how he sees himself ..what's this one?"  
  
Jake arched back to see. "His mom's maiden name (off the school records)."  
  
"Clerihew?"  
  
Jake looked grumpy. "Cross it out."  
  
"It didn't work, then." Will knew Ryder thought a lot of his mother. But then, who at this school didn't have parent issues?  
  
"It has to be eight letters."  
  
"Try Flashman. There's a series of books here." They looked much read. Will always checked out other people's bookcases. It was like a minor compulsion.  
  
Jake typed, and shook her head.  
  
"Try debonair."  
  
Everyone stared at Hamilton.  
  
"Mom called him that once. It stuck in my mind."  
  
"It would" Will confirmed.  
  
N.E.S.O.M.E. Jake typed. She burst out "Yes! Here it is."  
  
"You got in on debonair??" Will blurted.  
  
"Nah, something Ham said. About Ryder's self image being different from how we think of him. I had to get inside his head."  
  
Hamilton grunted. Jake inside Ryder's head, ugh.  
  
"Nice, clean homepage" Jake commented. "Hey, it is.. he's got a weblog."  
  
Scout left the door. "Let's take a look."  
  
(Ham thought it was ironic, really. Mostly, they wanted Ryder to shut up. A couple of days ago Ryder had said something typically malignant. Hamilton had told him to shut up then.  
  
Ryder'd grinned lazily. "Ah, Fleming. You're so uncomplicated." Grace had sighed "Oh say that again. That accent is so cute." Ryder'd peered at her, astonished. "Does she listen to the **content **of anything I say?" "Not a word." After a beat, Will'd added "Sensible girl." Bella had delivered the final snub. "The rest of us listen to what you say. The rest of us dislike you.")  
  
He had quietened that time. Now here they were, struggling to connect with his journal. They watched the page load.  
  
"You know" Jake said "he's bookmarked the Rawley database. I think he may have altered the school records. Like I did."  
  
Scout's jaw dropped. "Ryder's a girl?"

_Today I talked to Mum. It was  
awkward. Both uncomfortable, but, feel  
good about it now. She is really thinking  
about me. Got to remember that. Mum thinks  
it is like being flayed. No skin to  
protect from input, "sitting around in raw  
nerve endings" Good phrase, but. Not how  
it feels. More, sense of absolute conviction  
that any criticism of you is justified. No  
denial of the Truth of own worthlessness. No  
excueses no case for the defence even in own  
mind. Despicable. Positive input, compliments  
flattery. That's what it is, flattery. Out of  
charity, out of self interest, out of lies. I  
Know this is unbalanced. Mum keeps buying  
trite self help books. I read them. I  
understand them. I just don't get them. She  
doesn't give them to me directly, shes too  
discreet. I find them on my bookshelves,  
tucked between Saki and Barry Hughart.  
  
deleted entry  
  
deleted entry  
  
Utter, weary, sense of self contempt. Yeah.  
This is a low. No point writing  
  
deleted entry  
  
_

"Self obsessed much?" Will said.  
  
"Uh, don't you keep a journal?" Scout knew Will did. It lived in their sock drawer.  
  
"Yeah, but mine isn't Me Me Me." Will was surprised that his friends would assume it was. "It's a writing exercise. It's about all of us."  
  
Hamilton looked alarmed. "What kind of stuff?" He meant, was it incriminating. He and Jake caught each other's eye.  
  
"I'm not a narc" Will quoted. It was a statement Hamilton managed to work in almost every time he introduced himself to someone new. "It's a writing exercise." When he said that, Scout usually lost interest.  
  
"If someone found your diary.." Scout couldn't help saying. He'd been raised to be Teflon Boy. His family would be so down on him if he did wrong and left tracks. Time was, Scout thought, consciously disillusioned and rather admiring himself in the pose, when he'd've thought his Dad minded the doing wrong worst. He was older now.  
  
That day with the car and the letter: was there a hope in hell Will hadn't exercised writing on that incident? Scout frowned, his expression echoing the lines Hamilton was reading off the screen.

_Wooster was frowning. Like pulling  
his eyebrows together would make his  
brain to focus, and, what kind of idiot  
superstition is that?  
_

Wooster?" Will queried.  
  
"There's a line in quote marks. I think it's from a book: In the presence of the unusual, Mr Wooster is too prone to smile weakly and allow his eyes to protrude."  
  
"Wooster?" Will repeated.  
  
"He has nicknames in here for everyone" Jake said. She was hunched up and tense. She confirmed what he had been worried about. "You're Jeeves."  
  
"You?"  
  
"K9."  
  
Was Ryder saying Jake was a dog?  
  
"Apparently, on account of my being gay and an IT-geek, I'm a shoo-in Dr Who fan."  
  
Still by Jake, Hamilton started to rub the tension out of her shoulders. "I **like** dogs" he announced.  
  
"Stop before you dig yourself any deeper" Jake told him flatly but without rancour.  
  
"**I'm** Wooster?" Scout caught on, indignantly.  
  
Will supposed they were all suffering equally. He wanted to be sure, though. "What's Hamilton?"  
  
"Himbo."  
  
Ham's fingers dug more deeply into Jake's back.

* * *

Will and Scout left Ryder's dorm, still grumbling quietly to each other. Ham watched them down the hallway, hovering in the door, eager to be gone. "..Jake?"  
  
"Gimme a minute."  
  
He sighed heavily. Of course. She'd have to cover her traces electronically, or something. Computers totally weren't his thing. "At least we know what to do now."  
  
"We do?" Jake twisted to look at him.  
  
"Well. It's obvious."  
  
"And, uh, obviously..?"  
  
Hamilton stared. How could she not get it. "We have to tell my dad."  
  
Jake processed that. - "We have to tell my dad." He said that so easily. Like it didn't need thinking twice about - Ryder's life was as full of secrets and lies as her own, and she had no idea what his reasons were. Ham's personal dislike was probably pushing him to derail Ryder, all while telling himself he was being moral. "What happened to "I'm not a narc"?"  
  
"Jake, man, this is serious."  
  
"It's Ryder's life. He should get to decide." - _and yeah, you patronising preppie, I know it's serious _- she thought.  
  
"Not if he's crazy."  
  
"Define crazy. 'Cause I'm starting to think, anything outside of your little white bread New England bourgeois existance, like, oh say, messing with gender roles -" Jake's voice halted. She was showing her insecurity way too clearly. It was just, Hamilton seemed so aggressively normal sometimes. She was always alert for him to get freaked out again. Like he had when they first met.  
  
Ham looked confused. "This isn't about you."  
  
It was a really bad time to hear Ryder's voice from the stairwell. Jake killed the computer fast and messily, then hurled herself after Hamilton into the closet. They held themselves as far from each other as possible, tense.  
  
"..and keep your voice down." Ryder's words were discernable once he got into his room.  
  
"Yeah, right, god." That was definitely Grace. "You'd think I'd never been in a Rawley dorm before."  
  
"Slu-" Thwap. "-**aaah**!"  
  
"You deserved that." The sound of Grace - Ryder was still presumably on the floor - wandering the room, idly picking over the contents.  
  
"You knee'd me."  
  
"Don't be such a big baby. What's this?"  
  
"It's a mobile phone you peasant." Ryder must still be sore.  
  
"Ooh. Photo messaging. And a little radio."  
  
"Maybe I could hock it." A beat, then Ryder added defensively "Baz is still after me for cash."  
  
"Wonder who it belongs to?" A series of blips as Grace played with the buttons. "Huh, here's the address book."  
  
"Expecting to recognise anybody?" Ryder asked dourly. "Wait, what are you doing?"  
  
"Phoning "Dad." Whoever that is.. Hello? No, I'm not Scout. No, I'm not dating Scout. Who, may I ask, is interrogating me? Oh. Wrong number.. It's Scout's phone."  
  
"Thanks Sherlock. Actually, I knew that. Any idea where I can get a good price for it?"  
  
"You could give it back to Scout?"  
  
"He's unlikely to pay me. Look, I realise you have the attention span of a koi carp, but remember: Baz? the blackmail thing?"  
  
"If you weren't trying to keep being bipolar a secret, Baz wouldn't have anything on you. Tell the school."  
  
Hamilton nudged Jake. This echoed what he'd said. Nyahhh.  
  
- _yeah. **Grace Banks** is arguing your case _- She was unimpressed.  
  
"I can handle this."  
  
"Are you thinking you're blending in right now?" Derisively.  
  
- _Grace sneers as well as Ryder does _- Jake saw Ham lean on the back wall of the wardrobe and smirk.  
  
"I'm doin' all right."  
  
Grace snorted.  
  
"Grace is cool" Ham mumbled to Jake, fanboy-ing a bit.  
  
"What is your problem with telling the school?"  
  
"I don't want pity and I don't want sympathy."  
  
"Well, you didn't get them from me" Grace pointed out bracingly. "Anyhow, Bella says, most of them don't like you."  
  
"God, Grace-"  
  
"What? A lot of girls at Edmund High don't like me either."  
  
"Could it be the tact issue?"  
  
"Naah, they're just boring." Grace moved back on topic. "So, just tell the staff. Will says Finn is a good guy."  
  
Ryder made elaborate gagging noises. "Finn, christ, no. Why should I?"  
  
"You'll look cooler if **you** tell them than if **I** do."  
  
"Grace-"  
  
Inside the wardrobe, Ham was punching the air. "Grace rocks."  
  
"Shut up Ham." Jake held a finger to her mouth.  
  
"Another reason.." Grace said slowly.  
  
"Where are you going?" Ryder watched her cross the room, puzzled.  
  
"..it's not a secret anymore." Grace wrenched the cupboard door open. "What the fuck are you guys doing here?"  
  
"You know, girls aren't supposed to be in the dorms" Ham said defensively.  
  
Jake, already diving for the exit, froze. She was impressed by Ham's chutzpah. Was he going to claim this was a Dean's initiative, stationing Flemings in random nooks to police the school? Mrs F would be hiring a suit of armour that wouldn't flatten her curls, and the Dean would be suspended upside down from a chandelier in Study Hall, taking notes on absentees. She caught Ryder's eye. He was making a fist.  
  
Ham saw the fist, too. "Don't hit Jake!" He pulled his girlfriend aside.  
  
"Give me a reason." The last time Jake had heard anyone that silkily pissed off, it was Alan Rickman. It sounded more fun on-screen.  
  
"I agree with Grace" Ham said.  
  
- _no, Ham, no, no. Arguing's not gonna cool him down _- Jake wailed inside her head.  
  
"No, really. You should tell Dad. You should be taking stuff." Ham was still talking.  
  
Two steps would get her to the door, Jake calculated. Hopefully, she'd be out before Ham used the word "crazy."  
  
"You need support" Ham concluded.  
  
"From you, pouf?"  
  
"God, no." Ham was not up for that.  
  
"We can't stand you." Jake reassured the Brit. She got a grip on her boyfriend's arm and tugged him toward the door. She ran into Grace.  
  
Grace said "You haven't explained. What are you doing here?"  
  
"Uh, Bella sent us to find out what the deal was with Baz. You do know Joe isn't after you anymore?" Jake checked Ryder's reaction to the last statement.  
  
Ryder relaxed his fist. "He's not?"  
  
"Will spoke to him" Ham explained. Will hadn't, yet, but that was the plan. "Will and Bella want to protect Grace's boyfriend."  
  
Grace smirked.  
  
- _of course, the minute he breaks up with Grace, it's open season_ _on him _- Jake wondered if that was clear to Ryder yet. She saw Ham retrieve Scout's phone while Ryder thought this over.  
  
"What about Baz?" Ryder asked abruptly, not thanking them.  
  
"You're welcome" Hamilton said drily. "The four of us can make Baz think the school already knows. He'll never find out different."  
  
Ryder nodded and choked out a "Thanks."  
  
Jake eased the door open.  
  
Ham looked at her unhappily. "I'm gonna tell my Dad. It's the right thing to do."  
  
The way Ham was telling Jake, not him, it took Ryder a minute to understand this was about him. "You're full of amusing news for your parents, aren't you? Is honesty addictive?"  
  
"I haven't found it that way." For whatever reason, Jake looked as hacked off as Ryder felt. He hadn't time to think about what that might mean. Inside his head he was scrambling for a way to play Pratt off against Fleming. There had to be a way to do it.  
  
"Baby, I've **got** to-" Fleming was talking like this was between him and Jake.  
  
"No you don't." Bless Grace, Ryder thought, bad tempered and unsentimental. "You've **got to** give him the chance to tell the Dean himself."  
  
Ham looked at his watch. "He'll be in his office for the next hour. (Smoking's a filthy habit.)"  
  
"The condemned man gets a last cigarette." Ryder slouched off to do the last thing he wanted to do.

END


End file.
